Tuesday, December 29, 2009

My main symptom is RAGE.

At the pharmacy, in search of cold medicine in the post-meth-paranoia era. The rack of pseudoephedrine-containing medicines is cunningly hidden from view, so you have to play guessing games:

Me: Do you have Dayquil caplets?
Lady behind pharmacy counter: Uh, no, we don't have those.
Me: (hoping for generic) What do you have that's equivalent?
LBPC: I don't know, I'd have to ask the pharmacist. (query, then: who the hell are you and why are you behind the pharmacy counter?)
Pharmacist: What are your symptoms?
Me: Stuffy/runny nose, sinus pain. I have a cold. (Which I know, because I know who gave it to me.)
Pharmacist: Well, we have this, which has a decongestant and an antihistamine.
Me: That will make me sleepy. Do you have anything that will not make me sleepy? I have a cold, not allergies.
Pharmacist: (goes back for yet another box) We have Claritin-D, that's non-drowsy.
Me: I DO NOT HAVE ALLERGIES. I HAVE A COLD. Besides, I have Claritin already. Do you have any Tylenol Cold? Or Advil Cold?
Pharmacist: Here's Advil Cold.
Me: (debates asking for generic, gives up) Okay.
Pharmacist: That will be fifteen dollars. (proceeds to spend five minutes figuring out how to process out-of-state driver's license)

It makes me want to make meth just to spite someone.
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